7 signs you need help – even if you’re trying to cope on your own
7 signs you need help – even if you’re trying to cope on your own
7 signs you need help – even if you’re trying to cope on your own
You may say and tell yourself, “I’m doing fine,” but deep down you’re experiencing constant stress. You may not be at crisis point yet—but you know something is really wrong. When it comes to addiction or codependency, many warning signs are silent, invisible, and easy to ignore… until they and the situation become overwhelming. If you recognize any of these 7 signs in yourself, it might be time to stop carrying the burden alone.
1. You say you have things under control… but reality contradicts you
“I can stop using whenever I want.” – But you don’t. Whether it’s alcohol, pornography, food, work, gambling, or a toxic relationship, you lose control of your use, but you cling to the illusion that you do. Denial is the first defense mechanism in an addiction. Acknowledging reality is the first step to freedom.
2. You are ashamed and hide your feelings under a mask
You feel guilty after repeating the same compulsive behavior, but in front of others you smile, work, joke. Addiction thrives in secret. Codependency, in silence. If you are ashamed to be honest with someone about what you do or feel – it is a sign that you need real help, not just willpower
3. You try to “save” others so that you don’t look at yourself
A subtle sign of codependency is the constant need to take care of others, even at the cost of your own identity or emotional health. Getting lost in other people’s problems is sometimes an escape from your own inner emptiness. If you feel that you are only valuable when you help, it is time to see what wounds you have not yet let heal.
4. Your relationships are intense but unstable
You cling, you control, you feel abandoned, then you feel guilty. Emotional dependency or dysfunctional relationships manifest themselves through extreme and painful attachments. And behind them often hide unexpressed fears, unresolved traumas, a lack of personal boundaries. You need emotional security, not constant drama.
5. You lie and lie to yourself: “It’s not that bad”
Rationalization is the favorite mechanism of addiction: “It’s just a phase,” “Others drink more,” “I don’t do drugs every day, so I’m not addicted.” In codependency, you deny your partner’s abuse, sacrifice everything for validation, or ignore your personal pain. The fact that you are still functioning does not mean that you are okay.
6. You no longer know who you are without what you use or without him/her
Addiction and codependency steal our identity. You end up defining yourself by what you use or by who you are in someone else’s life. If you no longer know who you are without that thing you use, without that behavior or without that relationship – it’s a clear sign that you need to rediscover who you really are.
7. You’ve tried to stop. But you can’t do it alone
You’ve made promises. You’ve abstained. You’ve cried. You’ve had moments of revelation… but you’ve returned to using. Because alone, it’s hard. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. We need people to hold us when we fall, safe spaces, competent support and a community to help us rebuild ourselves.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It is a choice you make to save your life..
At the Baza Ghilgal Foundation, we know that behind every addiction there is a story. And every story can have a new beginning. Through the Fii Liber program, we offer support to those who struggle with various addictions. And through the codependent support group, we support those who have lived for others for too long, forgetting about themselves.
If you recognize yourself in this article, it is no coincidence that you are reading it. Maybe today is the day you take the first step. Not towards perfection. But towards freedom.
You do not have to carry your burden alone. You are no longer alone, we are here for YOU! Write to us and tell us your story.
Tripon Simona
My passion is to help those around me discover their unique beauty and plan their lives creatively, based on what they have discovered about themselves. All this so that they can live their lives freely and authentically.
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